Temporary feelings (Sun. 7/29)

Today was just one of those days when I was not feelin it. I woke up an unhappy panda for some reason and it just kind of lasted all day. A lot of it was that me and Lydia were the only two that didn’t have the day off, so everyone else had a relaxed air and we had a lot of work to do, which is a morale killer. Also we were supposed to work from 7-10am, so we had to get up really early. But when my alarm went off she wasn’t up yet, and I didn’t hear Kostas around, so I was like whatever, and slept til 8:30. Then we got up and started feeding the animals, and then Kostas came down. Turns out he was waiting to hear us moving around, while I was waiting to hear him. But he wasn’t mad, because he’s really nice and flexible with working times and stuff, but we had to get some work done by 10 because Phil was coming to teach us how to make fig jam. Hence we went over and picked figs for a little bit.

We were gonna stop and then work 5-9pm, but I was still really cranky and did not want the prospect of working all evening while everyone was still off, so I went to keep working, which involved doing another whitewash layer in the wine room. I think Kostas could tell that I was feeling a little off though because he came over and was nice and told me to go learn about the jam as part of my work hours. While the jam was boiling, Lydia and I did the whitewashing. The the jam was soo so tasty! And really easy to make, and all natural. You just put cut up figs in a pot and boil them with sugar for about 25 minutes.

After we were done, I was thinking of walking into town, but also kindof didn’t want to, and then I decided to go anyway. Even though I almost turned around no less than 3 times while walking up the hill. But I eventually made it to Manolis’ where I found Phil, Kostas, and Katrina who had left to go into town earlier. That was nice to have some company, and Manolis had just brought out some post-lunch watermelon for them so he brought me a plate as well. That was definitely much appreciated after the hot trek there. I just stayed a few minutes, because I thought reading my emails and seeing some of the outside world would make me happier, but it didn’t really. Actually I felt a lil better since I was able to imessage the parentals briefly. And I got a ride back to the farm with Kostas on his bike, which was nice.

I went to the further beach to find the other 3 girls, but I couldn’t figure out how to get down there because it’s a tricky path and you have to go through a goat gate and down a lot of rocks so despite being able to see them, I just turned back and went to the normal beach. But while I walked I called my parents and talked, which was nice and slightly reencouraging. I’m still always so appreciative of how they don’t get mad when I call and am sad, and are instead always supportive and comforting. I was still having lots of feelings post-morning work and into the afternoon for some reason. I don’t quite know what was wrong, but I was just feeling weird. I think it was partly a “so close yet so far” type thing, and I felt like I had just hit a wall with my capability of functioning happily, and the prospect of having one more week to be away was slightly daunting. I just felt like being home, which is weird because I am happy here- it’s conflicting to have both those feelings at once. But today the home feeling was dominating. I felt better post-swim and post-phone call and post-beach relaxing, and headed back to the farm for the evening work, which was just 6-8pm. All we had to do was feed animals, get some figs, and water, and it wasn’t bad at all.

The Danes prepared a pie party for dinner which was so tasty! Aka more like quiche. WHICH I have never enjoyed but I REALLY LIKED IT I am a new person. They made a yummy vegetable one with our tons of zucchinis and also one with tomato and feta. AND they made apple pie for dessert which made me so happy. Afterwards, we played travel scrabble which the Boston girls brought. Try saying that 10 times fast it is quite the tongue twister. It was a lot of fun, especially since for 3 people English isn’t their first language. And it was the Danes last night so it was nice for us all to hang out together. So in the end I was fine and am happy again. Of course I haven’t hit my limit of having fun, which I probably knew deep down, but in the moment of being sad it’s hard to remember that things will be fine in like 3 hours. As my mom was saying to me on the phone, even though there’s a bad moment, think about all the awesome things that have happened so far and that for all I know I’ll have another one of those experiences any second. Mother was right, as always.

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